you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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