i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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