i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
