Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
