there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
