I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
