thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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