You can't motorboat a personality
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
