She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
