My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
