You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
