It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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