before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
