So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
