I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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