I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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