Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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