Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
