My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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