My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
