I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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