I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
