OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
