I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
