she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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