i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
