Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
