Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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