I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found a bag of teeth...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
