There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
