never play flip cup with pint glasses
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
