C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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