i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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