i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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