This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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