I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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