Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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