We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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