She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
