oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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