in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
