Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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