Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
