The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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