I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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