dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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