I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
