My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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