Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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