I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As shirtless as possible
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
